Raised on Devil Ray-dio

First and most importantly, I have solved a mystery that has been puzzling Levi ever since last July, regarding the end of a certain White Sox-Devil Rays game, captured by Levi’s TiVo and replayed endlessly. The question was, what was the deal with the Devil Rays mascot, Pansy the Wuss-Wuss Fish Who Can’t Keep It Up (a.k.a. Raymond), when he was jumping around with the players?

The answer is that if the Rays are behind, he spends the bottom of the ninth standing around on top of the visitors’ dugout, dressed in a black shirt and mask, “disguised” as Rally Ray. Unfortunately, I was unable to get a good picture of him as he was unsuccessfully attempting to work his mojo against the Rangers on Tuesday night:

And now, more pictures:


Tropicana Field, as seen from the Interstate. It’s hard to tell, but we were driving through a sudden, very brief cloudburst at this point, approximately 6:40 P.M., and that’s why the city of St. Petersburg built a dome in the late 1980s.


The view from my seat, on the club level. I have to admit that this would be a very nice stadium if not for the permanent roof.


Plenty of good seats available. The official attendance was 10,389, but there were probably fewer than 7,000 people actually at the game. This is what happens when a team has lost its last five games and 12 out of its last 14, and plays a Tuesday night game against a team other than the Yankees or Red Sox, and doesn’t give away some sort of promotional item. They did not play Guess the Attendance on the scoreboard.


Maura’s favorite player!


The final line.


Headline in the Tampa Tribune.


Headline in the Dallas Morning News (it was a coincidence that I was changing planes not too far away from The Ballpark at Arlington…excuse me, Ameriquest Field).


Unfortunately, although the Lowry Park Zoo in Tampa has a “please touch” ray pond, since they’re all the rage these days, they haven’t labeled which ones are the devil rays. (Insert your own joke here, or better yet, in the comments.)

Original comments…

maura: haha, i was totally going to ask you where the picture of rocco was!! nice work, my friend, nice work. have you been to other roofed parks ever? i have never seen a baseball game indoors, and man people i know sure hate tropicana field.

maura: i am really sad about the rays this season, too, but i think i’ve mentioned that. sigh

Levi: I’ve been to a game at the Metrodome, with Stacey and Sarah Meisch and Dan Rivkin and Baggarly. We all kind of enjoyed it, although it was weird. The worst part was leaving a 65-degree sunny day to enter a 65-degree fluorescent-lit dome.

Steve: As much as I’m glad Jim was able to enjoy a trip home, (and catch an AL game in a dome) his attention to detail makes a strong case that baseball could use some contraction.

Jim: Nah, I’d have the same attention to detail even if the AL still had only eight teams. But it’ll all be worth it if I get on “Super Millionaire.”

Steve: I hear you on that super millionare. Will you be my phone a friend if I make it? I don’t like the new “jury” lifeline. Even though they should be super brainy, I don’t trust them. They are there at the producers behest no?

Also, Jim never had a mullet

Q. What has Levi done many, many times in his life that Jim had never done until last night, at least as far as he can remember?

A. Fall asleep listening to a West Coast baseball game on the radio. True, Devil Rays announcer Paul Olden is no Jack Buck, and “edgy” news/talk station WFLA is no “classy” news/talk station KMOX, but it was a neat experience. I may have to do it more often than once every 29-1/2 years.

I actually almost turned it off once the Angels scored five runs in the seventh inning, but decided to stay up for updates on the Rangers-Tigers game which ended up being won by Texas 16-15 in the 10th inning. I also wondered idly how many times in his Devil Rays broadcasting career Paul Olden has had to say something like, “Things have gone bad for the Rays,” as he did a couple of times during the last inning and a half last night.

Original comments…

Levi: I bet he has had to say that about as often as Bob Uecker, despite it being only April, has had to dig for topics of discussion during a blowout.

Tom Ellwanger: Well, at least they were competitive for 7 innings. Make that 6-1/2.

Levi: I have to admit that I’m impressed the D-Rays have a radio affiliate. Remember a few seasons ago when the Expos, at the worst point of their mismanagement, had no English-language radio broadcasts?

Actually, the Devil Rays are much better off than the Expos. First, they’re outhitting Barry Bonds, at least. And second, they’re averaging on the season more fans per game than the Expos drew in total for their three weeekend games against St. Louis.

Report from the Tampa Bay area

As you come down the escalator toward baggage claim at Tampa International Airport, there are these big LCD screens that list all the current incoming flights and their assigned baggage carousels. But there’s a panel in the middle that the airport uses to welcome whatever convention, group, or Mafia den is coming to town. Friday afternoon, it read “LIGHTNING VS. PHILADELPHIA FLYERS, SAT. & MON./Devil Rays vs. Texas Rangers, Tues., Wed. Thurs.” Nice to know not everyone has hockey fever; however, I have a feeling that very few of the people coming into the airport on Friday afternoon are going to be at any one of those Devil Rays games. But I will.

Step on Schpidah!

Certainly Major League Baseball couldn’t possibly be trying to get people to hate them a little less.

Oh, wait, surprisingly, they are, although it’s a little unclear whether MLB or Sony backed off first.

Original comments…

Levi: That’s good, because much as I love Spider-Man, I was about to call Alistair Smythe and ask how much he would charge to make a new Spider-Slayer.

Jim: And I was hoping I’d be able to get all the way through the lyrics to They Might Be Giants’ “Spider.” I guess I still might.

"There was about the same similarity between the leagues"

The Library of Congress has on its web site a selection of Spalding Base Ball Guides from 1889 to 1939.

The title quote is from the “Editorial Comment” article near the front of the 1939 guide, ampoule which ends with the statement “The new century begins with the promise of a rare battle in the younger league, online and with just as good a one to establish supremacy in the older. May the best club win, and then the battle for the one grand championship which will settle all—for another year.”

Much more music every morning

Apple allowed me to redownload “The Ballad of John Rocker” this morning, after, no doubt, everyone on the Cupertino campus shared a laugh about the bizarre assortment of downloads in that one particular batch of songs.

Unfortunately, none of the songs that have been mentioned in the comments to my May 3 post about baseball music are available in the iTunes Music Store. They do have some Dan Bern albums, but not the one containing “Gamblin’ With My Love (Pete Rose).”

Original comments…

Jon Solomon: Here are some more links:

http://www.dancingaboutarc.com/lists/baseballlist.html

http://www.nwfolk.com/songlists/baseball.html

http://chicoescuela1.tripod.com/Index.htm

Jon

A man’s word is his Bonds

There’s some interesting back-and-forth between Levi and Steve in the comments related to Levi’s May 4 post about Barry Bonds. Unfortunately, the display of those comments gets truncated at a certain point, it looks like, and I probably won’t have a chance to try to fix the problem until at least May 13 because I’ll be too busy watching the Devil Rays, among other activities.

So for now, here’s Steve’s final comment in its entirety:

Well Levi, you may be on to something with your Bonds-fawning but more on that in a moment. Back to the steroid scandal, I am less willing to offer a benefit of the doubt than you. In a court of law one is innocent until proven guilty but in the court of public opinion I think there is more than enough circumstantial evidence to implicate Bonds through his close association with already indicted people.

I contend Bonds was juiced up and hit 73 primarily as a result of this. His previous career high HR was 49 the year before. You contend he dedicated himself to changing his game and powering the ball out of the stadium. The next year he only hit 46HR– why the drop off? First he played in 10 less games. One remarkable fact I have learned thanks to this discussion is that Bonds has never played 162 games in a season. He played in 143 the years before and after the 73HR. The year after Bonds hit 73 HR his IBB almost doubled, and he walked 21 more times (in 10 less games) Clearly I can’t make my case that Bonds was juiced based on statistical evidence. He is a remarkable player. Let’s run down some of your other points.

Regarding the segregation of baseball. Bonds does have the advantage of playing against the best players in the entire world. In a functional sense, one might argue that the integration of baseball MUST have led to league expansion because it could absorb better players. Still, baseball was integrated in 1947 and didn’t expand until 1962 (15 years) I still contend this is, at best, a wash. However, one argument that would support your point in a twisted sense is the way in which Latin players are essentially farmed. Back in Ruth’s day there weren’t baseball colonies gathering in countless youngsters and signing them to contracts when they are in there early teens. In that sense, the players may be of better quality because they’ve made an industry out of it.

As talk turns to league contraction it’s clear that many players in today’s game don’t belong on major league rosters. I would argue the nature of specialization is really there to protect the superstars. Middle relievers are the baseball equivalent of cannon fodder. They go out there and they soak up innings. They aren’t good enough to start and they aren’t good enough to close. If it weren’t for the fact that there are so many teams you might well have a league full of Curt Schillings ready to go the distance against the Bonds’ of the world. In terms of closers, there are certainly a few world-beaters, Gagne, Smoltz, Eck, Rivera. But for every one of those guys there’s a head case with a big heater. Maybe it’s just me but I think baseball has become much more of a psychological sport. Why is it that 32 teams don’t have 32 awesome closers? It’s because pitching in that context is much more mental than physical. I think 90% of hitters have a clear advantage when they are going up against a “closer” in the 90s

On your point about travel, you’ve certainly got me there but regarding day v night games the Giants play the second most amount of day games in baseball (or at least they used to). And, if you listen to the Cubs, playing baseball in the day is harder because you have less time to “adjust” ie. sleep off the hangover. The players of Ruth’s era worked hard, played harder and then went back to work.

The parks of the old days all had their quirks but in general were much bigger than the parks of today. Sure if you can hit the porch in Tiger Stadium you are not necessarily bad-ass but if you hit a ball to dead center in the Polo Grounds you better hope you and your 4-lb bat got every bit of it.

In context, Bonds stands head and shoulders above most of league but I think A-Rod or Manny Ramirez are probably as good as he is. Of course, the trick is to put together a career of these mind-boggling numbers. It is remarkable that Bonds seems to be improving with age. 73HR is a gaudy number but I honestly think it will be broken again. It won’t linger there for 30+ years like Maris. Again, compared to the rest of league, Ruth definitely stands out more than Bonds. It’s too bad Gould passed or we might beg him to turn his analysis to this question. Do you know anyone at Stats? Gould may have a point but I still say, more pitchers, smaller ballparks, better nutrition and better equipment make hitting less of an art than it was in the old days. Bonds has clearly reduced it to a science. He is the MJ of baseball. I would say Ruth is more like Wilt Chamberlain. And I still think he sets the standards by which other players must be judged.

I’ve enjoyed this lively debate and in the spirit of our baseball wagers of years past I have one for you (but it doesn’t involve fellatio) If Bonds hits .400 this year (based on the minimum number of plate appearances to qualify for the batting title) I will 1) concede your point that he is better than Ruth and 2) treat you and your wife to a baseball game at a minor league stadium of your choosing within a 90 mile radius of your home. I think that covers Schaumburg (big whoop), Kane County, Gary, Joliet, Beloit and maybe another one that is slipping my mind. If Bonds fails to hit .400, I want 12 bottles of any (1) of these beers: PBR, Special Export or Old Style. Good luck.

Original comments…

Levi: I’ll take it.

Now I just have to not fret that Bonds is hitting in the .270s this week.

Schpidah! (he is our hero)

Certainly Major League Baseball couldn’t possibly do anything else that would make people hate them even more.

No, wait, they could.

This was called to my attention by my fellow captioner Joe, who points out that one thing he doesn’t like about NASCAR is that you don’t know which ad you’re supposed to be looking at at any given moment.

By the way, it looks like if the total length of the comments to a post goes beyond a certain point, the display will just be truncated, although the text is apparently saved somewhere (all comments get e-mailed to me, and I got Steve’s latest Barry Bonds missive in its entirety, so I do know the terms of the bet he’s proposing with Levi). I may try to poke around and see if I can figure out if there’s a way to get the length limit.

Original comments…

Levi: Jim– It could just be me, because I have been involved in the discussion, but I was actually thinking that the discussion Steve and I were having, if it’s okay with him, might be interesting enough to make an actual post out of. Is there a way you can do that with what you’ve been emailed? Or–again, if it’s okay with Steve–just post the entirety of his latest comment, with a reference to the location of the rest of the discussion?

Levi

thatbob: What seems really weird to me about the Spider-Man advertising is MLB’s assertion that, by accepting these ads, they will themselves be reaching a younger target demographic. They seem to have the programmer/advertiser roles reversed, as if more teenagers would watch 60 Minutes if they could only land a Mountain Dew advertising campaign. And by this logic – MLB seeks to horn on on Spider-Man’s young fanbase – MLB should be paying Columbia Pictures and Marvel Comics for the right to appropriate Spidey images – not the other way around.

So how could this possibly work? Are there thought to be little Spider-Man fans running around who are going to ask dad to make sure to get ball tickets on Spider-Man day? And then, after watching a game, become long time fans? If so, then “Excelsior!” I wish them luck.

See, I think Spider-Man and Sponge Bob gate promotions and merchandising actually make some sense. I wouldn’t mind a Spidey bobblehead in a Cubs uniform (though it’s probably asking too much to think Peter Parker would be anything but a Mets fan). But that’s no reason to start cluttering up the field of gameplay.

In other words, their cluttering up the field of gameplay has nothing to do with attracting a youth audience at all, but is really an ends in itself. Motor oil, prescription drug, and automobile ads are certainly on their way.

Levi: The Sox director of media relations said they hadn’t yet decided how much they are going to get into this–the participating home teams have some leeway (Which, I think, is a good sign that this is a stupid, stupid idea.). She said, “We’ll make our decision based on how much it enhances the fan experience.”

Let’s see. How much do silly, annoying ads enhance the fan experience? Zero. So I guess they won’t have anything out there at all.

Also, this is in direct contravention of the rules, which specify white canvas bags and white rubber for the mound.

Finally, if you’re the Spider-Man promo people, how do you decide that this is a good use of your money? Are you looking ahead to the controversy and all the publicity? Or do you really think little ads on the bases are a good way to get the word out to the right people?

sandor: The only people I see as being at all an audience for these silly ads are the players themselves. The ads themselves are so small no fan — save the occasional intruder — will be able to see them. I’m imagining a situation where a player gets on first base, idles around a bit while the pitcher warms up, looks down and sees the ad, and says to the first baseman, “You don’t anything tonight? Wanna catch the new Spider-man?”

sandor: Obviously that’s supposed to be “You doin’ anything tonight? …”

Jim: Memo to players and umpires for that weekend’s games: “More close plays at first base.” That will allow the TV cameras to get a good view of the ads during incessant slow-motion replays.

Steve: What upsets me most about this is how cynical it is. The justification is that they need to attact a new fans. How are they going to skew young just because kids see their favorite movie characters on the bases? Who the hell sees the top of second base anyway? Here’s a few ideas to really attract younger fans:

1) more affordable tickets
2) playoff and world series games that don’t end until after midnight
3) make players sign more autographs
4) pick up the pace because even for a fan, three + hours of baseball can be boring.

Levi: Steve–you’re right on. The only thing they’re doing on this list is speeding up games–and even that, they’re doing half-assed. Games are getting shorter, but not much, and they’re not taking the couple of immediately available steps they could to improve things.

I think of it like this: I like to see a lot of _innings_ of baseball. Not a lot of _hours_ of baseball. The faster, the better.

Always with more music

Thanks to Sandy for sending me an iTunes Music Store gift certificate. The baseball songs purchased with it: “Opening Day” by the Folk Implosion, “Baseball” by Michael Franks, and two tracks by John McCutcheon, “Baseball on the Block” and “World Series ’57.” I also bought “The Ballad of John Rocker” by Tim Wilson, but there was an error while it was downloading, and the Check for Purchased Music option isn’t finding it…so let’s just say that it’s kind of embarrassing to be sending an e-mail regarding a song about John Rocker to Apple customer support.

Other than the previously discussed “Piazza New York Catcher” situation, the only other potential baseball song remaining on my list is now “Night Game” by Paul Simon. I’m thinking I may see if I can find a used copy of the album it appears on, “Still Crazy After All This Years,” as long as I’m going to be looking for “Dear Catastrophe Waitress.” It might not be a big loss if I can’t find it, since “Night Game” may be the most depressing baseball song ever.

This still leaves me with some money remaining on my iTunes account, so please use the comments function or e-mail me directly if you have any suggestions for baseball songs I haven’t already mentioned in this blog and that aren’t on either volume of Rhino Records’ “Baseball’s Greatest Hits,” which I already have. (Note: The songs on this CD are not baseball songs.)

Yes, I do know about the “Diamond Cuts” compilations, the track listings of which I have already been through to see what was available on the iTunes Music Store. Not a lot, it turns out, although a few of them duplicate content from “Baseball’s Greatest Hits,” and a few others are different artists’ renditions of songs on “BGH.”

Original comments…

Levi: There’s that Kenny Rogers song from about four years ago that he played at Wrigley Field, about a boy tossing up a ball to hit it, but missing it again and again.

Don’t buy it.

sandor: I don’t know what your threshhold is for what makes one a baseball song. If it’s pretty extremely low, you should take a listen to Steve Poltz’s “Silver Lining,” which has these pleasant little lines in it:

I used to rely on luck
to earn an honest buck.
I didn’t feel so stuck.
I didn’t limp around like John Kruk.

References to baseball and testicular cancer in one line. Pretty amazing.

Jon Solomon: “line drive to the forehead” – Blunderbuss.

There’s also a SF Seals 45 with “doc ellis” and two other baseball songs.

“my black ass” by Shellac is about shadowball.

I’m sure more will come to me.

Jon

Levi: And there’s a great Dan Bern song, “Gambling with My Love” about Pete Rose and Bart Giammatti meeting in a hotel room for a night of drinking, wherein Giammatti tries all night to get Rose to just be honest and ‘fess up.

Steve: You can’t forget Steve Goodman’s “A Dying Cub Fan’s Last Request“. The same album (Affordable Art) has Steve’s mandolin-y version of “Take Me Out to the Ballgame.”

Jim: “A Dying Cub Fan’s Last Request” is on “Baseball’s Greatest Hits,” volume 1, so I’ve already got it. One of the best baseball songs ever.

Jon Solomon: “Baseball Bat” by Courtney Love (the band, not the person) came to me while driving back from Philadelphia tonight.

Jon

maura: do you have the baseball songs by barbara manning? they’re not on itunes, but a friend of mine has them on mp3.

thatbob: I’m really surprised and a little disappointed that Jon Solomon can’t come up with any baseball-related Christmas songs.

Jon Solomon: This was the best I could do:
http://www.amiright.com/parody/misc/traditional5.shtml