Category: periodicals

Items from newspapers, magazines, or other publications that are issued periodically.

Election, shmelection

Time for something really important: an allusion to Johnny Damon in today’s “Get Fuzzy.”

Original comments…

Toby: Hilarious, Jim! Thanks for posting it. Levi, are you going to stay in a depressed state forever? Come on, snap out of it. Post something! Gold gloves, new managers, free agents, your picks for MVP, Cy Young… something!!

Jim: The current state of syndicated newspaper comics amazes me, because back when I was a kid and studied up on such things because I had dreams of being a cartoonist, it was always “you have to work eight weeks ahead, although maybe the syndicate will let you get away with six if you’re a big name.” But now because of all the speed-ups in the production and distribution processes, a cartoonist can work only a week and a half ahead. (The Yankees lost on Wednesday, October 20th, and this week of strips about them losing started on Monday, November 1st.)

Levi: No–it’s not baseball depression that’s keeping me from posting. It’s my heavy workload right now. That should lighten up tomorrow just enough for me to post, then get busy again for about a week, then lighten a bit through the end of the month. So I’ll be with it again soon. I’ve enjoyed this forum with Jim and you all way too much to let it die in the offseason. We may have to change the name to reflect the new season, but there’s no reason not to keep at it.

Jason: Speaking of comic strips, I just purchased “The Complete Peanuts: 1953-1954”. Are they still only going to come out with 2 per year? At that rate, I won’t be able to collect ’em all, since there won’t be any Social Security money left.

Levi: Was that Jason Kaifesh, or Andy Rooney? Seriously. Read his comment in your Andy Rooney voice and see how appropriate it sounds.

Hell, read everything in your Andy Rooney voice. It’s good for you.

Ride ’em, Cowboy!

Work has continued being busier than I’d like, so there’s just this today, from an article on the Cardinals in Sports Illustrated:

“On Sept. 20, after a 7-4 victory over Milwaukee clinched the NL Central title, La Russa cut himself and his charges loose, romping around the visitors’ clubhouse at Miller Park soaked in champagne and beer. When King gave him an impromptu ice bath from a plastic wastebasket, La Russa, easily 75 pounds lighter than King, chased the reliever around the clubhouse, leaping on top of him and riding him piggyback, fists pumping in the air.”

Wild weekend of baseball coming up.

Original comments…

Dan: Where was John Mabry throughout all this?

Jim: He was scoring dope for a teammate!

Ha ha! Sorry.

Skinny, hairy guys in polyester

Two notes on 1980s baseball:

1) In thanks for my participation in his wedding, my brother got me a copy of the October 25, 1982 Sports Illustrated, which featured the Cardinals/Brewers World Series on its cover. The issue went to press after the Brewers took a 3 games to 2 Series lead. Whitey Herzog come across as pretty grouchy, even petty, making excuse for his team’s sloppy play and attempting to lower expectations. Herzog was without a doubt a good manager for that team, but I think I prefer LaRussa’s straightforwardness, combativeness, and arrogance, at least when it comes to talking about losses.

There’s a photo from the end of game 5 in Milwaukee showing County Stadium’s scoreboard reminding fans, “Last week, Ben Oglivie was injured because fans were on the field. Please stay off the field.” The bottom half of the photo is of the field covered with happy fans.

In the article, Gorman Thomas, talking of the Brewers being down two games to one, is quoted, “We were in the same boat in Baltimore at the end of the regular season, the same boat when we went to California in the playoffs, the same boat when we went to St. Louis to play on their rug. We’re still riding the same boat whether it’s PT-109 or the Love Boat or whatever. When the ship is in the harbor, they try to bomb it. And the submarines are always out there waiting for us.” After the Brewers tied up the series at 2, Thomas said, “The submarines have drawn back, submerged. They’ve been struck by our depth charges.”

And one last thing about the article. Sports Illustrated style in 1982, apparently, called for fielding positions to be capitalized. So you get Shortstop Robin Yount and Center Fielder Willie McGee. Might as well hyphenate “base-ball” while you’re at it.

2) At Fenway Park, the scoreboard showed a baseball blooper reel . . . from the late 80s. I assume they’ve been showing the same reel for nearly twenty years. Surprisingly enough, Bill Buckner does not make the blooper reel. I guess the traagedy+time=comedy equation is still a little short on the time side.

More trip preparations

1. I used the L.A. Times web site to stop my subscription for the two weeks I’m going to be out of town. As Levi might have expected, I’m fully intending to buy a local paper every day of the trip, except perhaps when we’re at my aunt and uncle’s house (because I think they get the Philadelphia Inquirer) and when we’re at his parents’ house (because they get the Carmi Times).

2. I finally remembered to call the Hilton Pittsburgh to request a rollaway bed, so that Levi doesn’t have to sleep in the bathtub, or curled up in a dresser drawer. Up to this point, I had been a little worried about the ability of the AAA web site hotel booking interface to actually communicate successfully with the various hotels’ computer reservation systems, but the Hilton did have my reservation in their system, so I guess we’re all set. “See you August 28th,” said the woman on the phone. Maybe I should have requested a room facing PNC Park, too, but I’m not sure they even have such a thing. (I think this is the only hotel on the trip within possible sight distance of a ballpark…I think the Holiday Inn Express in Detroit is a little too far from Comerica Park, with too many tall buildings in between.)

Original comments…

Toby: That’s the first time in the history of the U.S. that The Philadelphia Inquirer and The Carmi Times have been mentioned in the same paragraph.

thatbob: Actually, Jim, there is an ordinance that allows you to burn down tall buildings in Detroit if they obstruct a view and haven’t been used for anything in 50 years, so, you know, bring some matches.

Levi: Knowing Jim, I expect him any time we travel together, to have exact change for any tolls.

I’ll be more impressed if he also has exact change for any newspaper honor boxes he needs to use along the way.

And Toby, if you can schedule the pull-out section of the Times about Baseball Related Program Activities for the Monday, August 23rd edition, that would be great.

Toby: OK, but I’m going to need you to proofread it. In my last section (on the local summer baseball and softball teams), I forgot to mention the names of two of the businesses that sponsor the 40-some-odd teams in their respective cutlines and got a call from one of the omitted businesses, during which I was reminded (in a threatening manner) how much advertising that business buys with our paper.

I’m sure the same thing’s happened a million times at The Philadelphia Inquirer, don’t you think?

Jim: What the Philadelphia Inquirer has is the CEO of Citizens Bank calling the CEO of Knight-Ridder every time they don’t use the full name of the Phillies’ ballpark, I’m sure. But then it takes a while to trickle down to the people who actually work at the newspaper.

Willie and Bob (not Mays and Gibson)

I didn’t realize Willie Nelson and Bob Dylan were doing shows at minor-league ballparks this summer until I read an article about it in the L.A. Times this morning. (I can’t link to that article because it’s for subscribers only.) Unfortunately, it doesn’t look like we can fit one of their concerts into our itinerary.

Original comments…

Levi: I’ll take this chance to repeat my two favorite Willie Nelson stories.

1) This one you may all know. In the mid-90s, Willie was asleep in his car on a Texas roadside. A cop decided to roust him out and search his car for pot. Pot was discovered, Willie was booked. Later, a judge threw out the possession conviction based on lack of probable cause for the search. According to the judge, the mere fact of being Willie Nelson does not give law enforcement probable cause to search you for pot.

2) The coworker of a friend of mine is from Arkansas. On a recent visit there, he went to his usual pot dealer to get some Arkansas pot, which he claims to be the best in the world. His dealer apologetically explained that he had no pot to offer. “Willie came through last week, and he bought all the pot.” All the pot.

The Golden Years

Despite my crankiness in the comments to Jim’s post about the Sports Illustrated piece about baseball being in good shape right now, I do agree with the general premise. We’re in a great era for baseball.

Over the weekend, which we spent being rained and eaten by John Kruk-sized mosquitoes in Door County, Wisconsin, I was reminded of one example of why it’s a good time to be a baseball fan. I thought of this recently when we were in Lake Tahoe and I was reading the Sacramento Bee, and it came to mind again while I was reading the Green Bay Press-Gazette last weekend.

Both cities, lacking major league baseball teams, cover teams from nearby cities, with the Bee leaning towards Oakland but covering the Giants as well, and the Press-Gazette covering the Brewers. But, their home cities being medium-sized, the papers don’t have extensive sports sections. They run bare-bones box scores. You get the at-bats, runs, hits, RBI. You get basic pitcher stats. You get the time of game and the umpires. And at best, you get a capsule summary of a paragraph or so to go with the box score.

Which brings me to my point. I’m spoiled. Reading a big-city paper or two or three every day, I’m used to getting the bells and whistles on my box scores. I want the pitch count, batters’ walks, batting average, details of the types of errors made.

And that’s just the beginning. When I moved up here in 1992, the expanded box score and the capsule summaries were my only way to follow Cardinals games that I couldn’t pick up on KMOX. Once in a while, I got to see a Post-Dispatch at a newsstand. But most days, I was deprived of a lot of
the fun of following a major league team: I got no rumors, no human-interest stories, no detailed stories of exciting wins. And, lacking cable, I got no replays.

Twelve years later, being away from the Internet and a big-city paper for a few days reminds me of just how much things have changed. I now have more baseball information than I could ever use, from all the stats in baseball history to great Cardinals commentary to the Post-Dispatch. And, though the design sucks (I keep hoping a certain Major League Baseball employee will get it fixed.), mlb.com is fantastic. The audio portion alone makes it a godsend to people like me rooting for out of town teams. Add in the video highlights (like a bit of thievery by Jim Edmonds that’s currently available on the Cardinals site), and you’ve got the best thing Major League Baseball has done since barring Pete Rose.

Add in all the other reasons already discussed in the earlier post, and it’s sure a good time to be a baseball fan.

Original comments…

maura: oh, starla.com, how i coveted you back in the day…

Levi: Yeah, I should probably fix that so it links to, say, your page instead of Hasbro’s.

Ok. Now it does.

Jason: What were you doing in Door County?

Levi: Not making a documentary about Wisconsin. Instead, we were camping. In the rain and a mosquito convention.

Well, I haven’t left for New York yet

The Sports Illustrated cover curse strikes again! The Devil Rays have a losing record since the “10 things that are awesome about baseball” issue came out last Thursday with their name mentioned on the cover (2-4), and now with his blown save today, Eric Gagne is not quite so awesome anymore. The other items specifically listed: “Perfect Randy Johnson,” “Yankee Economics,” and “Must-see Barry Bonds.” So let’s see: Randy Johnson gets hypnotized into thinking he’s a chicken, Barry Bonds falls into a bottomless pit…

11. Intestinal parasites!

The new issue of Sports Illustrated contains an article titled “10 Reasons Why Baseball Is Awesome Now,” or something like that. Their reasons:

1. A lot of teams are still in contention for playoff spots (more teams are within 5 games of at least a wild card spot at this point in the season than in any year since the current playoff format was adopted).
2. Attendance and TV ratings are up.
3. The Yankees are a big draw, both at home and on the road.
4. Devil Rays!
5. They’re about to announce what they’re going to do with the Expos. (Speaking of which, they’re playing the Blue Jays this weekend in San Juan instead of, I don’t know, somewhere in Canada?! Well, at least no one will be able to point to a sudden uptick in attendance if there’s a lawsuit seeking to block the move.)
6. Padres!
7. Randy Johnson! Tom Glavine! Roger Clemens!
8. Barry Bonds!
9. There’s going to be an international baseball tournament next March.
10. Eric Gagne!

Comments? Additions? Reasons why baseball sucks, instead?

Original comments…

Levi: I have as little interest as humanly possible in an international baseball tournament. In fact, I’m kind of actively against it. If there’s one thing I don’t need to see again, it’s a stadium of people shouting “USA! USA! USA!”

Actually, I’m always bugged by these lists because of their premise. Look, baseball’s always there. That’s one of its greatest charms. If you’re too busy with other things to pay attention, that’s your loss. Even when they were talking all through the nineties about how baseball was in trouble, attendance was at astonishingly high levels compared to all of baseball history except like 1990-93. It was way high compared to other sports. Revenues were up across the board. And despite a few remarkably mismanaged teams (Sorry, Toby), nearly every team had a shot at the postseason at some point in the decade.

But despite my complaining, I’ll take good news and positive coverage wherever. The Yanks/Red Sox game the other night, on _cable_, won the time slot in NYC. That’s unbelievable for a regular-season game.

And I’d add one more thing to this list: the Cubs. Anytime the Cubs are this successfull, in winning and attendance, it’s good for baseball.

stacey: it should be noted that levi is not always this cranky. he accidentally slept in this morning, and that probably accounts for this grouchy post.

ps: eric gagne is on the all-cute team!

Levi: Yeah, that probably sounded crankier than it should have. The reasons the guy gives are all good, and they’re all fun aspects of this season.

Eric Gagne is so awesome he should be two reasons. And Scott Rolen’s defense should be a reason all by itself.

Steve: I just want to vote that the Padres are decidedly uncool. They may have a new stadium, they may have my initials on their hat, and San Diego may be the home of Mandy Stadtmiller but their uniform looks like a college or minor league team. I could be talking out the other end here but I can’t help but think they are going out of their way to be PC and disavow their “padre-ness” in the wake of the catholic church sex scandal. Instead, they should embrace it. Can’t you see the headlines, “Wells, Beck, Bugger Dodgers.”

Jim: Their mascot, the Swinging Friar, was very visible at the game I went to at Petco Park in May.

Toby: I got some reasons why baseball sucks now
–3 1/2-hour games
–Interleague play (two teams meeting in the World Series that have already played each other)
–Fat managers wearing uniforms (no other sport does this)
–I can’t go one *#!@ing summer without seeing a replay of Fancisco Cabrerra’s hit to win the 1992 NLCS (as if I don’t see that whole inning enough in my own nightmares)
–An average family’s cost to go to a game – approx. $80
–No Jack Buck anymore (and though I used to always defend him when people put him down, Mike Shannon isn’t nearly as good without him)
–Paying for autographs
–No more powder blue road uniforms
–Does every team need a new park every four or five years???
–Too many teams
–A good ERA is in the mid 3’s
And most of all
–An unprecedented 14 years of sucking for the once-proud franchise known as the Pittsburgh Pirates. They will never compete again.

(The point, in case you missed it, is that any sport is fun when your team is winning… and not so much when they’re losing… though my last-place team just swept Levi’s first-place team)

Luke: File under suck:

ESPN’s behind-the-plate ads, seen on TV (fugly!)

ESPN’s behind-the-plate ads, seen in person (fuglier!)

ESPN making Wrigley games night games so I can’t go

Retractable roofs

Fewer double headers

Major League Baseball allowing into the park fans who do not intend to stay for the entire game

MLB allowing fans into the park after the first pitch

Absence of European soccer-style relegation, which would deal nicely with the problem of too many teams

Beers more than $3

Tribune Co.

Rooftop owners

Tribune Co. vs. Rooftop owners

Warm-up jerseys worn during games (especially at home)

The off-season

File under awesome:

3 1/2 hour games!

Fat managers wearing uniforms!

My team winning

Derek Jeter and his game face

Dusty Baker’s contempt for pitch counts

There’s going to be an international baseball tournament this August

Wayner Messmer and the perfect, sub-3:00 National Anthem

$2.25 malt cups

Ed and John

Sox fans blaming the rain on the Cubs

Roadtrip blogs

Johnny Damon’s hair

No more powder-blue road uniforms; less teal

Seligian Shenanigans

The Washington Post just wrapped up a series on how DC or Northern Virginia is about to be the newest area to be screwed over by Major League Baseball. After the All-Star Game, Bud Selig is going to announce where he’s going to plunk down the team he stole from Montreal.

The series is in three parts. The first looks at the remarkably shady dealings that brought us Miller Park. I knew the dealings for that stadium reeked of corruption, but the Post‘s writers get all the details in order, and it’s even worse than I thought.

The second looks at the remarkably shady dealings that brought MLB ownership of the Expos.

And the third looks at the shady dealings still to come, as Selig and his cronies arrive to loot the local treasuries of the DC area to the tune of around $350-400 million.

These articles are some of the first mainstream articles I’ve seen to argue strenously against Selig and his stadium-building boom. They’re well-researched and well-written, and if they don’t make you mad about the tax money being funneled into the pockets of billionaires, then maybe you should go here. The other thing this article does is make me more impressed with Peter Magowan of the Giants and the Cardinals ownership group. Magowan built the first privately funded stadium since Dodger Stadium (Which, it’s important to remember, was built on land that was basically given to the O’Malleys after the low-income people living there were booted.); the Cardinals ownership is trying to do the same, getting some assistance, but not much.

The Post requires you to register, but I bet you all can figure out what to do.

Original comments…

Levi: This doesn’t belong here, but I liked it so much that I had to put it somewhere. From E.J. Dionne, “The plural of anecdote is not data.”

He’s using the statement as a clause to introduce a bunch of anecdotes that he’s using kind of like data, but it’s still a succinct, sharp way to pinpoint what’s wrong with reasoning from anecdotes.

Steve: Thanks alot, Levi. Just when I’ve really been enjoying this baseball season and the tight divisional races you go and dig this up. Grrrrr.

Well back at ya! How about that little league blooper that lost the game for the Cardinals last night? And my grandma can throw harder than Matt Morris.

Levi: Fortunately for my soul, I wasn’t able to see the game last night, and by the time the radio broadcast came in, all I heard was Mike Shannon saying, “Totals and highlights in a moment.”

I think that probably should have been “highlight,” since Suppan’s pitching seems to have been the only one.

But we’re back at ’em tonight. And how many times–apologies to Toby–can the Pirates beat you, really?

Jason: If any other business were run like Major League Baseball, it would be bankrupt and OUT of business.

Levi: Like will soon be the case with the NHL, which seems to be run kind of like MLB, but with worse hair.

Steve: “And how many times–apologies to Toby–can the Pirates beat you, really?”

Apparently at least three times…..

Levi: Thank god tomorrow’s an off day. This team sounds like it badly needs a day off.

And John Mabry might have had the worst day ever. He hit into two double plays, left ten men on, and managed to make six outs if you include the DP outs. Poor guy.

More Tank McNamara, TiVo, and baseball

Whoever colorized today’s “Tank McNamara” strip has apparently never seen a TiVo remote. The buttons are in a variety of festive colors, not just red, assuming you consider gray and black to be festive colors.

Also, the colorizer has made everyone but the main characters orange, but that’s less of a problem.