Tag: jesus

God on baseball

Because I like a good Biblical quote as much as–hell, let’s be honest: more than–the next nonbeliever, I enjoyed seeing The Pinstriped Blog making use of Job a couple of days ago. For those of you whose joy in Yankee misfortune rivals Satan’s joy in Job’s boils, you can instead think of this quote as it applies to yesterday’s Cubs bullpen disaster.

APPROPRIATE BIBLICAL QUOTATION FOR MANAGERS
WHO CALL IN THE WRONG PITCHER FROM THE BULLPEN
“Truly I cannot help myself; I have been deprived of resourcefulness.”–Job, 6:13.

The author also, with thanks to Robert Benchley, gleefully takes Hebrews 8:13 out of context:
“Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever.”*

Julio Franco just keeps getting better!

Yesterday or the day before, Andy Van Slyke, well-known for running his mouth*, accused Julio Franco of using steroids, saying, basically: Look at him–he’s like a hundred years old and still playing. He’s got to be on the juice.

To which Franco replied, “I am on the juice. The juice of Jesus of Nazareth.” What the hell he means, I have no idea, but I’ll go with it. Franco is now the first baseman on my team of entertaining goofballs. Let’s see: Doug Glanville in center, Julio Franco at first, Joaquin Andujar on the mound, Jim Bouton in the pen.

I guess my team still has some roster spots to fill. Suggestions?

*It’s amazing how much of the “Barry Bonds is an asshole teammate” line comes from Van Slyke and Jeff Kent, who, by all appearances, are assholes.