"Our lives have taken an odd turn"

Things seen in “Dancin’ Homer,” one of my favorite “Simpsons” episodes, that we will probably experience on this trip:

  • The Capital City Goofball, or at least his real-life equivalent, the Phillie Phanatic
  • A domed stadium so quiet, you can hear every individual smart-ass remark (in Montreal; of course, many of the remarks will be in French)

Things from that episode which I hope to experience on this trip:

  • An advertisement for a savings and loan proclaiming it “Safe from 1890-1986; 1988-“
  • A grounds crew/bullpen cart shaped like a baseball
  • A live organist playing “Baby Elephant Walk” with a reggae beat
  • The intersection of 4th Street and D

Things I hope we don’t experience:

  • A 26-minute-long version of the national anthem
  • Seats in the upper upper upper mezzanine

The Motor City, etc.

I don’t think AAA would approve of staying in a hotel that has chunks of plaster all over the floor and pigeons roosting inside. But maybe I’m wrong. Their 2004 Tourbooks come out in April, so I’ll pick up the one for Michigan when I have the Triptik made and see how many “diamonds” they give the ol’ Book Cadillac.

While we’re on the subject of Detroit, just the other night, I watched an HBO documentary called “A City on Fire: The Story of the ’68 Detroit Tigers.” The part about the World Series might make Levi depressed and morose, but I enjoyed it. Our next baseball trip after this one needs to involve time travel.

It actually contained some content relevant to our National Anthem discussion: Mickey Lolich complaining about how long it took Jose Feliciano to get through “The Star-Spangled Banner” at the beginning of Game 5, and several other interviewees, including Ernie Harwell, talking about all the complaints received about this unique take on the anthem. It sounded fine to me, although they didn’t play the whole thing uninterrupted in the documentary, so I couldn’t tell exactly how long it went on for.

The birth of this blog prodded a couple of people to put their names into consideration as official hangers-on. Luke wants to go to Davenport and St. Louis, and Maura wants to join us in Pittsburgh in addition to Philadelphia, so I certainly hope she enjoys the Pennsylvania Turnpike. I have updated the itinerary with details of their attendance.

We have a blog

Three years ago, friends of ours named Luke and Sandy went on a baseball road trip and kept a joint blog about it. So I figured we should either rip them off, or pay homage to them, depending on whether or not Luke and Sandy are going to be reading this.

This is actually the replacement for some “manual” blogging I had been doing about this trip on my own web site, so I’ve copied all those entries over to here. The advantages are that Levi can easily make entries here as well, and we can both make entries from anywhere…including while we’re on the trip, if we can beg, borrow, or steal a computer capable of connecting to the Internet at some point.

It has also been rumored that Luke may be joining us for the first portion of our road trip. I hope he can make it, even if I disagree in part with his opinions on National Anthem etiquette. While I will happily sing along to an instrumental version (especially if it’s being played live by an organist), I will remain silent if someone is out on the field performing, because I actually want to listen to their performance. But I do agree that the cheering shouldn’t start until the end of the song, no matter how good the singer is at hitting the high note.

Therefore, in case they do instrumental versions of “O Canada” in Toronto and/or Montreal, I want to be sure I have the lyrics down.

On another note, my mother tells me that my cousin is getting married in Connecticut in July. Depending on the exact wedding plans (and the exact wedding location), I may attempt to come up with a scheme to visit New York for a day, a city which is a noticeable gap on the road trip itinerary. The Yankees will be in town that weekend, right before the All-Star break, playing my hometown Devil Rays.

Back in the lineup

Following a mostly baseball-free trip to Lake Tahoe, I’m back in the world of the Internet (and, that means, the office). But because I have a fair amount of work to do this morning, I’ve got just some disjointed thoughts to offer.

1) Here are some things that people I overheard on the trip (at restaurants, airports, in the gondola at Squaw Valley) are more concerned about than I tend to be: Property values, cars, gas prices, commercials, and traffic. Oh, and there was the woman at the airport who was detailing to everyone in earshot the degree to which she always gets sick on airplanes. The short version: not quite sick enough to barf, but very close.

Things they are less concerned about than me: public transportation, bicycles, and baseball.

I’ll take my set any day.

2) We did get to see one game while we were on vacation. The last night of our trip we spent at Stacey’s aunt’s house in Sacramento, where I got to watch the Cardinals beat the Athletics on the Bay Area Fox Sports Network. And I got to feed Aunt Sherry’s pair of pet bunnies. It was a great day.

3) The flag at Wrigley Field at Saturday’s very chilly game was still at half staff. The Most-Loved Terrible President Ever has been dead more than three weeks! Isn’t it time to reflect his American optimism and pull that flag back up?

4) Speaking of honoring the dead, if I had been Commissioner of Baseball, “The Star-Spangled Banner” on the day Ray Charles died would have been played by solo organ or trumpet in every ballpark. It’s not like anyone is ever going to sing it better than he did at Game 2 of the 2001 World Series. Watching that performance, I was astonished that any such carefully staged moment as the pre-game National Anthem at the World Series could be so moving. On a song and in a situation where most renditions don’t even reach the level of craft, Ray Charles on that night produced art.

5) Jim’s posts recently have now doubled the amount of non-Maura-created Devil Rays content on the Internet. The infinity symbol no longer quite expresses the porn/Devil Rays ratio on the Web. Congratulations, Jim. The D-Rays will have your season tickets in the mail this week. Hope there’s room on that fast-rolling bandwagon.

6) Ron Santo and Pat Hughes on Friday had this exchange:
Ron: “Patrick, have you ever thought of writing poetry?”
Pat: “No, not really, Ron.”
Ron: “I think you should.”
Pat: “Well, I think I might just stick to broadcasting.”
Ron: “I really think you should write poetry.”
Pat: “Thanks for the vote of confidence.”

It’s good to be back.

Original comments…

sandor: Re: #3. I (regrettably) didn’t take any pictures, but in our short jaunt through southern Wisconsin this weekend, we saw an inordinate number of flags at half-mast. Probably more at half- than at full-. In fact, the larger the flag was, the greater chance it was halfway down the pole. It was astonishing.

Jim: They’re supposed to be at half-mast (or half-staff) for 30 days after a President dies. I seem to recall that 10 years ago, flag proprietors were pretty good about keeping them halfway down (or up) for a month after Nixon died, so if he can get that kind of flag cooperation, it’s no wonder Reagan is doing even better.

Levi: Wow. 30 days?

Stand me corrected!

But it still seems like an odd relic of, say, Victorian-style mourning, when you went through several specific stages of mourning with their accompanying public displays.

Toby: Levi, At Sunday’s Cardinals vs. Reds game (in which Junior hit his 500th homer), a kid from your hometown named Landon Bayley threw out the first pitch. Just an FYI.

Levi: How’d he manage to get to do that? And was it faster than Matt Morris’s fastball these days?

Toby: His grandfather is the Bayley in Martin & Bayley – the small Carmi company that built Huck’s into a major chain in the Midwest. It was Huck’s day at the ballpark. He got to meet Lou Brock, who, I believe, also threw out a ceremonial first pitch.

I’ve never clocked Landon so I don’t know if he’s faster than Morris, but I know he’s a good kid.

Oh, say can you see?

As Jim and I are always saying to each other, here at Baseball-Related Program Activites 2004, we’re nothing if not a family site. We’re like those sportswriters who are always lamenting about ballplayers not signing autographs or building childrens’ hospitals or fighting crime. We want the whole family involved in the game. We’re even thinking of making our site play the Baha Men.

So when my friend Jon Solomon sent me a photo of Dodgers pitcher Jose Lima singing “The Star-Spangled Banner” at Dodger Stadium last week, his wife and son by his side, I thought, “This little bit of Lima Time is perfect for Baseball-Related Program Activities 2004! A patriotic family photo!”

Then I looked at the photo. And I have to admit that it took me a moment to focus on Francis Scott Key’s view of the battle for Fort McHenry. After a few minutes, I decided that the people who run the site the photo was located on weren’t including it because of Jose’s singing or their love of country. Nor was that the case on another site, on which there’s even a rude poll relating to one aspect (two aspects?) of the photo.

But I want you all to be clear that, as we are a family site, I bring this photo to your attention for the same reason that I’m sure Jon brought it to mine: we think it’s pretty cool that Jose Lima got to sing “The Star-Spangled Banner.”

Here at Baseball-Related Program Activities 2004, we–we take the road less traveled by. For the kids.

Original comments…

Levi: Oh, and last night, the woman who sang the National Anthem at Wrigley Field sang “For the ramparts we watched.” I guess that’s the opium-addled version, where the ramparts are streaming.

Jim: I’m not sure if Pax TV deserves to be the link for “a family site.” Their Tampa affiliate is the broadcast home of the Devil Rays. (Yes, the Devil Rays really are bad enough that independent station “More TV 32” — the equivalent of Channel 26, “The U,” in Chicago — which broadcast their games for the first few years didn’t want to renew the broadcast rights, and apparently, nobody else wanted them either.)

toby: Just more proof–as I once discussed with Levi a long time ago–that EVERY single pro baseball player has a gorgeous wife. Do you remember Zane Smith of the Expos/Braves/Pirates.. Even he had a hot wife.

Levi: Jim reports that the phrase “Jose Lima’s wife” has now passed “Johnny Damon’s hair and beard” as the most common Google search that has led people to our site. I should have seen that coming.

Anonymous: Jim is correct

Musical notes

1) Ross and I, to warm me up for my first vocal techniques class at the Old Town School of Folk Music (Really. I’m taking a singing class.) sang a falsetto version of “The Star-Spangled Banner.” Stacey seemed horrified, but I recommend it. Until you try it, you won’t realize just how high those high notes get. But I recommend you try it in the privacy of your own home, unless you’re Wayne Mesmer, in which case I suggest you try it Tuesday, May 4th, which is the next time I’ll be at Wrigley Field.

2) My newest unrealizable music dream is to hear Roy Orbison sing John Fogerty’s “Centerfield.” I agree with Rob Neyer that the only songs that should be played at a ballpark are “The Star-Spangled Banner,” “Take Me Out to the Ballgame,” “Centerfield,” and, when appropriate, “O, Canada.” “Centerfield” is a great song. It’s a song that perfectly conveys much of what’s wonderful about baseball.

But if Roy Orbison had sung it, it would have been even better. See, I don’t actually believe that Fogerty is suffering because he’s on the bench. Sure, he’s antsy and itching to get into the game. He’s pounding his fist into his glove and imagining crashing into the wall. But he will survive if he stays on the bench and the team wins. Just being around the game will, ultimately, be enough.

Roy Orbison, on the other hand, would quickly make clear that he will die a horrible, protracted, sorrowing death if he doesn’t get into the game. Failure and despair will gnaw away at his insides as the innings roll by. There would be no joy in Mudville, no joy anywhere overlooked by his Ray-Bans.

And you know what? He’d get into the game. Ultimately–think of the end of “Running Scared”–the strings would swell and the coach would give in. Roy would be centerfield. The fans might not be able to see him for their tears, but he’d be out there, ready to do his part.

Original comments…

sandor: I’ll be at Wrigley May 4th as well. My first game of the season. Along with Sarah, Adrienne and Syd, storyteller extraordinnaire. If Wayne doesn’t deliver, I bet Syd will be happy to treat you to his falsetto version. With a little hair dye and a pair of sunglasses, he’d probably even be able to do it as Roy Orbison.

thatbob: “Beer Barrel Polka,” dumbass.