Tag: yankees

Operation Duplicate Chili: a qualified success

Hey, look, I made chili! And there are plenty of things to put on and in it, including Farmer John brand bacon, in honor of the poor Dodgers (their longtime sponsor, one of the few “longtime” things the Dodgers still have)…

The chili would probably taste a little better if Derek Jeter weren’t on TV, but that’s what Fox gives us…

I call this only a “qualified success” because I’ve heard no reports from Levi on whether he’s eating chili as well, which was the whole point of Operation Duplicate Chili. Levi’s been jet-setting all about, going from apple orchards to public libraries in the Pacific Northwest. But since I have plenty of the chili left over — and most of the makings for a second batch — it’s a safe bet that we’ll be eating the

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same chili some night in October. Actually, not exactly the same, since I bet Levi won’t be putting bacon on top of his.

The best part of the game was the tape of Joe Torre interviewing Gene Autry in the Angels’ locker room in 1986; that tape’s probably been shown before, but I don’t remember having seen it.

Everyone’s getting into the baseball act

I know it’s hard to believe, but even the monthly customer newsletter of the service that hosts baseballrelated.com wants in on the baseball commentary action…

Baseball is a weird sport because it’s quite often the cheapest sport to attend, yet the players are paid the most of any pro sport. For example, I believe they were paying people $12 to attend the Giants games this weekend, but at the same time Alex Rodriguez earned $20,000,000 per attempt to swat away the ball while being tagged on his way to first like a little girl!

The way baseball can afford to pay its athletes so much while at the same time keeping ticket prices and stadium refreshments so reasonable is actually through a number of quite-unrelated side businesses. The most lucrative of which is the bulk purchasing and re-selling of highly desirable domain names! I KID YOU NOT.

It USED to be that only the richest sports franchise-owning billionaires and the president of the United States could get into this literal GOLD MINE of easy profits. But now, thanks to DreamHost lowering the price of .com, .net, .org, and .info domain registrations to just $9.95/year even YOU can now get in on this GUARANTEED PAYDAY! (You still get one free domain registration with every shared hosting plan too of course.)

Just remember, you are required by law to send all profits made through the resale of domain names to the New York Yankees. With the playoffs beginning tomorrow, they need this money more than ever to offer complimentary tickets to the starving children of the rest of the league’s players.

Yes, the newsletter is always written in this style, although it’s usually not about baseball.

Meanwhile, the Devil Rays sign J’onn J’onzz

Some talk in Gene Weingarten’s Washington Post chat today about The Flash’s impact on the game if he

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were added to the Yankees lineup.

God on baseball

Because I like a good Biblical quote as much as–hell, let’s be honest: more than–the next nonbeliever, I enjoyed seeing The Pinstriped Blog making use of Job a couple of days ago. For those of you whose joy in Yankee misfortune rivals Satan’s joy in Job’s boils, you can instead think of this quote as it applies to yesterday’s Cubs bullpen disaster.

APPROPRIATE BIBLICAL QUOTATION FOR MANAGERS
WHO CALL IN THE WRONG PITCHER FROM THE BULLPEN
“Truly I cannot help myself; I have been deprived of resourcefulness.”–Job, 6:13.

The author also, with thanks to Robert Benchley, gleefully takes Hebrews 8:13 out of context:
“Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever.”*

What pitchers think

Steve Kline, complaining about a balk call in the Orioles/Yankees game last night:

“Giambi called time. I stepped off the rubber. You could hear the Yankee bench yelling ‘Balk.’ Once you get hit for it once, the umpires look for it. That was a bogus call. I was deliberating whether to put [home plate umpire Foster] in the Cobra Clutch. It was a great game until that happened.”

I don’t think he meant this kind of Cobra Clutch.

Original comments…

thatbob: Wow, the Cobra Clutch, natural arch-enemy of the dreaded Camel Clutch!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Professional_wrestling_finishers

"The Greatest Game Ever Pitched"

From the Yankees’ 1981 yearbook. The artist did the “Spider-Man” comic strip for years, so it’s nice to see that he can present an entire baseball game in only four pages.

Original comments…

thatbob: “No one will ever better Don Larsen’s performance in the Greatest Game Ever Pitched!” is quite a claim. Mightn’t someone pitch a perfect World Series game AND hit a couple of grand slams? And wouldn’t that, by any standard, be considered a better performance?

Kitty loves baseball

I was planning on giving Levi the first word on the first game of the season, but I think he’ll agree that it was vitally important that I post this picture of my cat Chessie (who jumped off the TV shelf once the Yankees started winning)…

And I assume this commercial was met with great joy and delight in Rocketship-land…

Original comments…

Levi: Damn you, TiVo! I missed that ad completely!

Jim: That’s why I haven’t enabled the semi-secret “30-second skip” option — I want to see what I’m fast-forwarding through, just in case.

I guess now you’ll have to watch the commercials on every single baseball game until you see this Johnny Damon one!

Opening night

Could we possibly ask for a better Opening Night game?

Sunday night, we get the World Champion Boston Red Sox at Yankee Stadium against the World Champion (Choker Division) New York Yankees.

For the second year in a row, Johnny Damon will be our first sight of the baseball season, stepping into the box in all his glory.

And on the mound, we get pure contrast. David Wells v. Randy Johnson. Junkballer v. Flamethrower. One of the roundest guys in baseball v. the tallest, skinniest. They ought to go on the road as a comedy team. They’re listed at Baseball-reference.com as weighing the same, despite the Unit’s six-inch height advantage. Now that’s comedy.

It’s time. Y’all are invited for chili and corn bread.

Now there's the Devil Rays we know and love

I set the TiVo to record the MLB Extra Innings feed of this morning’s game. If I’d been 100% sure it would be showing up for free, I might have woken up earlier to watch it; as it was, I had to fast-forward through major portions of the game, which turned out to be a good thing. It was the Yankees’ YES Network coverage, and it looked like they had dug up a lot of old films of teams and players visiting Japan in the past, including Mickey Mantle celebrating his 24th birthday while the Yankees were on a barnstorming tour of Asia. (Actually, maybe ESPN showed the same footage yesterday morning, but I wouldn’t know.) Also, there will be a suitable-for-framing 8×10 photo of a Yankee great inside the Sunday Daily News every week.

Anyway, now that we know I’ll be getting MLB Extra Innings free for the first week of the season, Levi, you’re invited to my nameless apartment for the real Opening Day on Monday. It kicks off with Tigers at Blue Jays at 10:00 A.M. (And then the question is, since this morning’s game was the first one in the Extra Innings package, will they define “first week” as lasting only until next Wednesday, or all the way through Sunday the 11th?)